The Why that drives us.

In another life, I'd have been a psychologist.

I've seemingly had this pressing need to save others. As a young adult, I figured it was rooted in how little I knew about myself. I thought that if I could solve their problems, I'd gain insight into my own. This manifested like a sine wave—positive and negative extremes.

The negative end looks like a toxic long-term relationship, where I felt compelled to save & fix someone. Suffice it to say, lessons were learned.

On the positive end, I've naturally gravitated into leadership roles wherever my career took me. Still looking to help others, but the urge came from a better place.

Here's the thing… this all sounds a bit hollow to me.

The search for a deeper why

Joe Hudson on The Art of Accomplishment put words to my feelings around this:

"If you come into coaching to save others, it's incredibly dangerous."

By doing this, you're painting the person you're working with as a victim. Someone who is incapable of doing the thing without you, their saviour.

Well, that explains why I never liked this angle! I don't believe I'm special. I'm not unique, or better, or a guru.

I hesitate to use the word coach, due in part to all those who have flocked to this path for the wrong reasons. They come to it from the wrong place—a place of greed, or the rock star-esque desire to be known.

Here's what I know to be true:

• I've gained a lot from my wild, sprawling journey.

• I enjoy being appreciated and heard.

• I can provide value, space & presence for others.

• I'm going to help raise our collective ability to connect, to build together and to tap into our childlike curiosity.

None of this makes me special, but it points to my deeper why.

Much of my writing & the work I do is towards understanding myself better. The best way to build something sustainable & true to your nature, is to understand yourself at a deep level.

It might seem selfish on the surface, but this is what allows us to best share our gifts with the world.

It also highlights a broader truth about coaching: it's not about fixing others, but instead acting as a mirror to guide them through self-discovery.

From Saviour to Facilitator

It was deeply rewarding to realize I wasn't interested in saving others to satisfy my own vanity. Any insightful person has likely questioned whether their desires come from a narcissistic place!

I don't need to be extraordinary. I don't have to create something groundbreaking that changes the world. I don't need to be known, though I accept it's a byproduct of doing great work.

My journey is about self-discovery, and how I can use that to help others achieve the same thing.

Plain and simple.

You might not have all the answers today, but seeking to answer the question of "Why?" is one of the most raw, revealing & transformational experiences a human can undergo.